Are these the worst date movies ever!
Valentine’s Day is bad enough but those purpose made algorithm led formulaic rom-coms are often cinematic atrocities in themselves. But there’s those movies which are fantastic but in no way should they be seen on a first date. And in the spirit of helpfulness we take a look at the worst date movies ever at starting with…..
So here’s those worst date movies in full…
Closer (2004)
Now at any other time this is an excellent movie written by the equally excellent Patrick Marber ( whose had a hand in scripting and appearing in early Alan Partridge TV and radio shows). But Closer is nothing to laugh about with its tearing apart of romance. Directed by Mike Nichols it’s a terrific four hander with Jude Law, Clive Owen Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman all of whom tear down the pretence of love and being open and honest
It’s plot sees the relationships of two couples become complicated and deceitful when the man from one couple meets the woman of the other.
As Portman’s character (a stripper) says, ‘Lying’s the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off – but its better if you do’. The fantasy of the rom-com is shredded and this is ultimately a game of taking things to the brink with one-upmanship. Owen and Portman were Oscar and BAFAT nominated and Marber should have at the very least been nominated for an Oscar and in reality should have won one. It’s brutal stuff and well worth a look ….just not with a date.
Fatal Attraction (1987)
A huge hit at the time as Michael Douglas embarks on an affair with Glenn Close only for her to define the phrase bunny boiler when he tries to end it. An enjoyable eighties thriller it is in retrospect somewhat misogynist in its portrayal of a woman scorned being psychopathic rather than sympathetic and that the ending was reshot for audiences to cheer on Close’s shocking demise served only to underline that. It was part of a run of hugely successful and often controversial films for Douglas which included The War of the Roses (acrimonious divorce), Basic Instinct (bisexual serial killer), Falling Down (a broken divorcee and recently redundant man rails against the world). Disclosure ( an employee’s affair with his female boss) and Douglas at the time was the only actor to get these films made.
45 Years (2015)
Bit of a low key independent film but with a powerhouse performance from Charlotte Rampling. For once this ignores fledgling love but instead at its centre is a couple married for …well, 45 years. Tom Courtney as Rampling’s husband are a devoted couple and on their wedding anniversary a letter arrives informing Courtney’s character that the body of a dead girlfriend has been found in the Alps. Things unwind and unravel from there and it has a stunning end shot that’s masterclass in acting
Gaslight ( 1944)
The original Gaslight film that gave us the term about abuse and psychological deception. An adaptation of stage play its sees Ingrid Bergman’s opera singer fall in love and quickly marry a musician who almost immediately starts manipulating her into believing she’s a kleptomaniac who’s losing her marbles. Betrayal of trust is everything and this is an unsettling watch now so you can imagine its impact back in the mid 1940’s and this really could be the worst date movie ever!
Gone Girl (2014)
If Gaslight has you wondering about your partner then Gone Girl takes it up several notches. Based on a best selling book it sees the model couple with everything Nick and Amy Dunne (Ben Affleck and Rosamund Pike) beset by catastrophe when Amy disappears and the tide soon turns against Nick when it appears that he’s responsible for her disappearance. The media descends on him when Amy’s diary reveals her love for Nick ignored and rejected by him. And yet nothing is as it seems here and a mutually assured destruction is gleefully examined by director David Fincher in one of his very best films. Do not see this on the eve of getting married.
Irreversible (2002)
This still shocks to this day where Events over the course of one traumatic night in Paris unfold in reverse-chronological order. for what is an art house film there are some appalling acts of violence in this with Monica Belluci battered and raped in a deeply uncomfortable scene and there’s an astonishing sequence in a BDSM nightclub is punishing viewing and yet by the end of the film it begins as a love story.
Marriage Story (2019)
Starring Adam Driver & Scarlett Johansson in two terrific performances it sees them as a stage director and his actor wife struggling through a gruelling divorce that pushes them to their personal and creative extremes.
For anyone whose been through the trauma of an acrimonious divorce this is gan uncomfortable reminder of when things go bad, they go really bad and divorce lawyers are parasitic blocking any amicable dealing and preventing things from running smoothly orchestrating legal mayhem, against the opposite party to often deeply distressing effect. Laura Dern who plays Johansson’s lawyer is devastatingly good and rightly won a Best Supporting Oscar
Love does not conquer everything and this is enough to put any couple off taking their vows making this a difficult watch for any couple about to take the dive. Read our review HERE
…so by our reckoning those are the worst date movies ever!
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