The origins of Cold Storage
Our Editor is on a health kick at the moment not that he knows anything about being healthy as thinks that hepatitis B is a vitamin (‘You’re fired!’ –Ed). One thing he does know is that mushrooms are surely the most pointless of vegetables but the fungus featured in Cold Storage is on a mission to wipe out mankind when it arrives back on Earth via the 1979 Skylab that broke up and crashed in various locations across the world and was quickly recovered by NASA. Except according to David Koepp’s script adapted from his own book, in the Australian outback where an oxygen tank lay undiscovered for years and seemingly dormant except that it wiped out the local town’s population.
So what’s in Cold Storage?
Its micro biologist Dr Martins (Sosie Bacon) and NASA bio terrorism expert Robert Quinn (Liam Neeson) and his colleague Trini Romano (Lesley Manville) arrive on scene take a sample and the team quickly find that a hazmat suit offers no protection (presumably because Tory baroness, bra seller and purveyor of ropey medical protective wear Michelle Mone supplied them). But it’s an early glimpse of the catastrophic consequences of the fungus infecting a human and a hint at what’s to come.
It’s alive!!!!!
With the container shipped to a defence security facility that some years later is decommissioned and now becomes about as safe as a party hosted by Andrew Mountbatten Windsor. The fungus lies dormant and forgotten deep in the underground storage. But it’s employee Travis (Joe Keery) whose nickname is Teacake (it is later explained but we’d prefer that the moniker was some sort of US equivalent to a British public school’s version of the biscuit game) but he along with a some way more savvy colleague Naomi (Georgina Campbell) are on the night shift together having rebuffed their managers attempt to lure them into his money making plan to remove a load of HDTV’s from the place.
Funky fungus?
But the fungus, for reasons unknown, has come to life infecting all those that come anywhere near it but equally is just as adept at sliming its way across the floor, up walls and through vents. And when it infects any living thing the effects are suitably gnarly care of the prosthetic make up dept who have been given free rein to come up with a whole load of gloopy gory designs. Nothing and no one is off limits whether it be human or animal – there’s a blackly comic infected and suicidal cat that sets the dark comic tone for what’s to come. So whilst Naomi and Teacake flee the fungus in an effort to stay alive its Neeson and Manville out of retirement and to the rescue as deer, bikers and ex-boyfriend’s undergo the madness of the make-up team in gloriously gory style.
The most unexpected of casts ….
With some wholly unexpected leftfield casting that sees Vanessa Redgrave along for the ride with Neeson and Manville this is determinedly B-movie fare but with Koepps clever set ups, Cold Storage is a load of splattery Saturday night fun that’s likely to deter anyone from a mushroom risotto afterwards.
related feature : ‘Whistle’ Director Corin Hardy breaks down those set piece deaths and the prop that freaked out the cast & crew
related feature : We take a look at ‘The Mummy’ – LIMITED EDITION BLU-RAY
Here’s the Cold Storage trailer……
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